December 2010
13 posts
“Is this Mr. Richtmond?”
“I’m sorry?”
“Mr....”
– and that’s when they hung up.
the moral of the story is: …I don’t know, pretend you’re your own wife and say so in a very gruff voice? I was just fucking around.
November 2010
26 posts
2 tags
There is a third BIG MOMMA'S HOUSE coming out next... →
August 11, 2011.
The worst day in history confirmed for next year.
2 tags
How To Make: A Decidedly Unvegan, Unvegetarian...
After the overwhelming success of How To Make: Faux, which I discovered when someone said, “That actually sounds better than the time you put cinnamon in fucking mashed potatoes.”
On Saturday, my friend Thrash celebrated his fifth annual Thrashgiving. Thrashgiving is a magical time of the year when we don’t give thanks and instead give our friend Thrash a series of dishes we...
WHY POLAND IS SUPERIOR TO RUSSIA: THEY TRAINED A... →
four loko vs. goldschlager
having drank both of these last night, i feel as if i must compare them.
namely because both made me feel like i was a very susceptible young woman named “cindy with two i’s” who was at her first big high school party and was being fed candy drinks by a guy in a varsity jacket who had plans to get me drunk and then rape me behind the bleachers.
and i had the watermelon four...
“It tastes like fruit punch and malt liquor and like something you’d drink...”
– my friend after he and his girlfriend had four lokos the night before and couldn’t drink today because they lingered in his mouth.
Watchrichjm:
On November 16, 2010, Staff Sergeant Sal Giunta of the 173rd Airborne will become the first living Medal of Honor recipient since the Vietnam War. His actions occurred in Afghanistan’s Korengal valley during the deployment chronicled in the movie. This fourteen-minute video tells his story.
“What did you think when they said they were giving you the medal of honour?”
“Fuck you.”
via...
1 tag
“The first iteration of a film festival gives one a chance to reflect on really...”
– Alejandro Adams on the Film Festival Experience.
Also an aside: I asked for and received a screener of his second film, Canary, which made the festival rounds in early-to-mid 2009. Graciously received one and kept it for a bit with no real deadline. Another film critic who had a wider outlet than...
3 tags
Four Loko Banned in New York →
heller:
I send you my condolences.
And suddenly, I’ll be packing a second suitcase on Wednesday and engaging in my new job as “moonshine runner.”
“Ben Craw, a friend of Ms. Gumbel’s, lives with two friends in a four-story...”
– Same story as linked previously. But better question—there’s a four story apartment building on Lorimer? Really? Holy shit. What’s been built since I moved away?
4 tags
“Mr. Cavin Quezada often works until 2 a.m. or later, and the first few nights...”
– AW SHIT SON, NOW YOUR MOTHER’S GONNA REALIZE $500/MONTH DOESN’T MEAN SHIT IN THE NEW YORK RENTAL MARKET. [NYT]
but really—being afraid of “hearing” motorcycles and gunshots in new york does not compare to “waking up on a staircase with a gun in your face.”...
2 tags
How To Make: Faux
No photo because it was goddamn delicious.
This came from an idea because I really like pho, my mother has also finally learned she really likes pho and she was born with some innate ability to reverse engineer anything she eats it.
You will use:
1.5 chicken breast
7 whole white mushrooms
2 boxes of chicken broth
1 box of angel hair pasta (we used whole grain.)
1 lime
a few more...
to wit
the people who complain about Four Loko being “taken away” are the same assholes who claim Sparks was “taken away” from them.
You know where you can find Sparks now?
In the goddamn Harris Teeter.
No one is coming for your shitty alcoholic caffeinated beverages. Though to be fair, Four Loko Watermelon does sound delicious. And I speak as a person who routinely advocates...
3 tags
What Does Bowser Taste Like? →
“Every week, save all your papers that you’re printed in. On Sunday, sit...”
– a journalism professor of mine. he was being sarcastic about the last part.
"Wait, who's Issei Segawa?" →
noted cannibal, restaurant critic and author.
in honor of VBS releasing a trailer for Issei...