Idiot Savant Online too

Month

May 2008

43 posts

“11:47: I guess I also missed the part about how Carrie can afford Jennifer Hudson.” —

Ah, Jezebel SATC Live-Blog. You redeemed yourself.

Wonder what Dodai’ll say.  

May 30, 2008
BWA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Contact 516-XXX-XXXX/ [redacted]
MEDIA ADVISORY –May 30, 2008 at 11:30am
 
 
Cancelled„„„„„„„,Sex and the City look a like contest winners to be announced on Long Island at Press Conference
 
One of the Hottest Movies in History to Open , brings millions to Box Office with Fab Four Look-a-Likes
 
Port Washington, NY – CancelledTown of North Hempstead Officials and a local radio station will join with look a likes of the popular of Sex and the City television program.  The look-a-likes that recently won a contest in which four local Long Island women were chosen from thousands of residents from the tri-state area. The look-a-likes winners will be announced in a ceremony and a press conference cancelled……………
The four women that resemble Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda will be treated royally with free designer shoes, manicures, cosmos etc. The blockbuster opens the same day and is expected to be one of the most popular movie openings in recent history. These women have gotten instant fame and now because of the movie are becoming rock stars.

May 30, 2008
Why I Hate PR. Passionately.

Contact 516-XXX-XXX/ [redacted]
MEDIA ADVISORY –May 30, 2008 at 11:30am
 
 
Sex and the City look a like contest winners to be announced on Long Island at Press Conference
a
One of the Hottest Movies in History to Open , brings millions to Box Office with Fab Four Look-a-Likes
 
Port Washington, NY – Town of North Hempstead Officials and a local radio station will join with look a likes of the popular of Sex and the City television program.  The look-a-likes that recently won a contest in which four local Long Island women were chosen from thousands of residents from the tri-state area. The look-a-likes winners will be announced in a ceremony and a press conference on Friday,May 30, 2008 at 1130 am at  Harbor Links Club on 1 Fairway Drive off West Shore Road in Port Washington.
 
The four women that resemble Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda will be treated royally with free designer shoes, manicures, cosmos etc. The blockbuster opens the same day and is expected to be one of the most popular movie openings in recent history. These women have gotten instant fame and now because of the movie are becoming rock stars.
 
 
 
To set up interview with the ”Sex and the City” Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte and Miranda look a likes call 516-XXX-XXX

May 29, 2008
for the court record.
  • Samantha: whatever.
  • i've got the febreze cooling in the fridge.
  • matt will never know what hit him.
May 27, 2008
May 27, 2008
On the bright side, Ain't It Cool has finally come to terms with giving credit to other sites. On the down side, it's written by a 3-year old.  → aintitcool.com
May 27, 2008
“It’s fundamentally gross, of course, but the apparatus of contemporary media and marketing is such that life and love are treated more as commodities every day—you might try asking Tila Tequila about that or Emily Gould—and Richards’ show is just another indicator of the broader cultural decadence.” —

and lo, Emily Gould is now the blogger Tila Tequila.

 Living Lohan is one big exploitative mess. - By Troy Patterson - Slate Magazine

May 26, 2008
“Mr. Brown, a 21-year-old economics major, recalled the marathon runner who lived in the house last semester, saying: “He came out of the shower one morning and yelled out: ‘Two minutes 18 seconds. Beat that, Lucas!’” —You know what? I’m taking a 45-minute shower just as a “fuck you.” (NYT)
May 26, 2008
May 25, 2008
A minor thing.

I’ve got a huge gripe against ordering take-out. There is some sort of untapped phobia I have wherein I promise someone to come to their store in a half-hour, pick up goods unpaid for, pay for them and then leave to enjoy them back in my home.

The entire process disturbs me. But in the sense of being more neighborhood-y (and ruining my entire gramatical basis), I have tried calling in take-out orders to the pizza place and dinner I live next to. 

pizza place?

 Me: Hi, I’d like to get a large pizza. 

Guy: …hello?

Me: Uh, hi, I’d like to get a large pizza?

Guy: Hello? Man, who the fuck is this? Say something! Ah, nevermind. 

click.

diner?

…10 rings…

Woman: Sunset.

Me: Oh, hi! I’d like to put in an order for take-out.

Woman: Pick-up or delivery.

Me: Pick-up!

Woman: And?

Me: Corned beef hash and two eggs scrambled, please.

Woman: …and?

 Me: That’s it.

Woman: 10 minutes. *click*

and so, i crawl out of my shell inch by inch.

now if i could only stop collecting urine in mason jars and creating my dream airplane out of toothpicks. 

May 25, 2008
“V-Cinema has a fabled history to the Western audience. Under the Japanese studio system, it acted as a training ground where future talent like Kiyoshi Kurosawa and Takashi Miike could embrace the international genre spotlight. It is known for frantic schedules, heavy emphasis on shlock effects and plots so thin that you could execute masterful calligraphy with them. And this is why The Machine Girl is so confusing.” —The Machine Girl review at The House Next Door.
May 23, 2008
“

But after six years, Boll has released his finest film. Yes, it is another video game adaptation of an 11-year-old first-person shooter—technically of its sequel—about a guy who simply gives up on society and begins a kamikaze attack on the stereotypes he’s been forced to live with. And why is it so good?

Because it is a gigantic “fuck you,” like a 99-minute version of Monty Brogan’s ode to New York in The 25th Hour. Boll’s Postal has largely been seen solely by critics and scant film festival attendees desperate to see how they can eviscerate Herr Doktor further.

”
—“Are you fucking serious?” Postal review at The House Next Door.
May 23, 2008
Sunday in my Bathroom

It normally involves me waking up, staring into the dark abyss that has become my face and wondering what I can do to improve my life. Lose weight? Shave? Read a new book? Maybe take up model building.

But no. Not yet. So I’ll open up my new copy of Wired and just kill time in the bathroom. It’s rather nice—we have a skylight, so the natural light looks great. It’s well lit. It’s a blast. 

Then I hear arguing. Guy goes on about how the cops are coming. A woman says that she’s not worried. Guy says they should both get off. Footsteps on my roof. People running around up there. Shouting. More footsteps.

And my coffee’s ready. Sunday is a great day. 

May 18, 2008
May 18, 2008
the worst blowjob interview ever

Moriarty: I think what surprised me most is that they are funny… Joel: … very funny… Moriarty: … and we’ve never seen funny from them, really, in their films before. Uh, but some of the best stuff in this movie is… well, you guys found the right kid… I think Paulie Litt is the kid. Joel: I mean, he is great, he is what Spritle was, y’know? And we’re concerned if we do make more of them, that… you know… I don’t know if you can find a kid who is the same age, and we have to move quickly if we want to see Paulie again…

May 13, 2008
"Stiller Black Downey Jr."

Hollywood is threatening to completely cover the Carlton Hotel as they put the final touches on their displays, including Robert Downey, Jr. in blackface.

May 12, 2008
Play
May 11, 2008

i feel like a pepsi.

goodnight.

May 10, 2008
Play
May 9, 2008
May 9, 2008
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