June 2013
14 posts
The Curious Filmography of The Real-Life Wolf of Wall Street: ‘Santa with Muscles,’ and other films →
filmdrunk.uproxx.com
the wolf of wall street has a history of shitty films.
“
I’d like to introduce myself formerly to you. I am Robert Diaz. I’m an Artist and Antiques Merchant. I make art works ( Paintings, Sculptures etc) and I buy and re-sell antiques from different part of the world. I’m looking to employ capable & trustworthy individual as my Personal Assistant. Most of the time, I am away so applying candidate must be able to carry out instructions as given. Also,
Candidate must be enthusiastic, reliable, calm and friendly.
Candidate must also be focused and have the win-win drive.
Candidate must be able patient with customers and clients.
Candidate must have telephoning manners.
Candidate must have computing knowledge.
Candidate must be familiar with printer usage.
Candidate must be available at almost, all time. by email or phone.
Duties:
In-bound and out-bound calls
In-bound and out-bound shipping and posting
Booking appointments with clients/customers
Emailing and Mailing of letters, documents or other information to clients/customers
Handle Payments, Invoice, Receipt and other Records
Benefits:
Travel opportunity
Bonus pay
Holiday
Out-bound calls allowance.
Internet usage bill pay monthly.
Gas/ Transportation allowance.
Pay Break Down:
Basically, it’s a job you will be doing from your home or can be done from your own office. The new age, technology has made everything easier. As long as you have the internet and your cell phone, we are able to communicate anytime. So, you do not need to resume to my office, where I would be able to count hours of work.
However, I shall pay $350 per week. At the beginning of the month of work, I shall pay.
1. Internet - $25
2. Gas/Transportation - $50
3. Out bound calls. - $25
$1400 Monthly (From $350 Weekly break down) + $150 Basic allowances = Grand total: $1550.00 monthly.
Once you have read and understood this.Let me know the best time to call. Please note, I may not be available to call soonest for any interview. I am basically looking for a ready minded and willing individual.
You shall start work immediately, but before you do, I’d like you to get back to me with the below required information. a.s.a.p.
Requirements:
Please tell me more about yourself and respond with the below information.
Full names:
Physical address{NOT PO BOX}:
City:
State:
Zip Code:
Apt #:
Phone number:
Cell#:
Gender:
Please provide with the required information a.s.a.p
Thank You.
The Dissolve: Of PASSION and other posters unworthy of Brian De Palma →
thedissolve.tumblr.com
The theatrical poster for Brian De Palma’s new movie Passion (due on VOD via Magnolia on August 1, in theaters August 30) has been released [h/t to Film.com], and it’s as deflating as the middling reception the film received when it premièred in Venice and Toronto last year. As with many De…
the 15 critics that describe how he shaves
If you’re lucky enough to not give a shit about the internet and live in the woods you may have missed one of the odder corporate tie-ins to visionary director™ zack snyder’s man of steel. essentially, gilette—the brand that wants you to cut yourself which is frankly the best anyone can get—has asked “#howdoesheshave.”
now there’s a number of questions here, the least of which being there is no question mark and instead a pound sign (the kids refer to this as a “hash-taggggg”). Gilette, in their infinite funded wisdom, have asked notable shavers and groomers like the director of clerks, a star of a cbs show about people who have disposable income for comic books, this guy—a science guy and these guys.
but that’s fucking silly. and a very important question. so i’ve decided to see if critics can answer this question by simply replacing any reference to ‘superman,’ ‘clark kent’ or ‘man of steel’ with ‘how does he shave’ to find out if there can be an* answer to this (unlike vulgar auteurism or “how’d it get burned”).
"a content farm is where everyone is content."
It warmed up a little this week, here down at Lake 33Universal. Days are cloudy and the coffee machine is broken again, which no one ever admits to but we think it was the GamenGuide folks. The hum of browsers and clicks of keys keep the days to a normal minimum eight hours without the lunch hour. Lunch doesn’t exist down here at Lake 33Universal. At least not in the traditional sense. There’s a break room and an elevator and a coffee machine that normally gets ruined since the programmers can’t read the instruction. But lunch is a time of work here at Lake 33Universal. All the fresh J-school graduates at SportsWorldReport like to munch on sandwiches from FLAVORs or the newly opened Potbelly around the corner from 33 Whitehall Street. Sometimes they like to giggle over lattes about wrestling and news they scrape off ESPN.
The Heralds Siblings (Lawyers, Parents, Franchise and University) giggle like schoolgirls over HNGN as he swings his bell to cry out news that’s at least 48 hours old. Poor HNGN and breaking global news daily when its global news daily is already old. But he means well and just wakes up every so often around here down at Lake 33Universal. Without the other content farmers like JobsnHire, AutoWorldNews, NatureWorldNews,ScienceWorldReport,RealityToday, TravelersToday and FoodWorldNews.
Down here at the content farm, everyone is content at 33 Whitehall Street using leftover desks, computers and phones from Lehman Brothers. It’s a quaint village and we’re always looking for more folks even if we’re not technically a journalism job—we are agricultural cultivation specialists here at the content farm.
And down here at Lake 33 Universal, we’re not as bad as those communist pinko hippies over at EnStarz that think they’re called EnStars. Life is fine here on the content farm as long as you get your mandatory 10,000 hits a day in the field for six days a week. Yes, sir.
And if you can’t, that’s fine. We’ll just outsource your job to the Malaysians that can bring the hot hits daily*. So long from Lake 33Universal and we’ll call you maybe next time for fresh news and reviews video photos gallery.
May 2013
28 posts
A Fond Memory of World War Z.
It was a brisk November morning in 2006 and all Manhattan was a titter with bile and what have you. I was on my way up the the East 90s to meet with S.T. VanAirsdale to discuss being an intern for The Reeler. I had never met him, didn’t know whether to say ‘Stu’ or ‘Es Tee’ and had no idea what to say despite being the “film editor” for a student paper at NYU.
To kill time I hopped off to the Barnes and Noble on 85th St. Mulling around for a moment I walked up to the desk to ask for the bathroom. The employee took a look at me, sighed and then said, “Oh great, come this way” before I could even get past “Hi, is there.”
She took me down the rows. Past the new releases. Past the fiction. Past the romance. Into the murky world of fantasy/science fiction. We walked down two rows until we came against the wall. She grabbed a stack of books, turned and said, “Can you carry these, please?”
She turned and went back to her desk, motioning for me to follow. We went back to her desk. She took out a sharpie and held it out.
“Can you start signing these please?”
I had no idea why but it dawned on me I was carrying a stack of World War Z. So I took her pen, opened the cover and signed the first copy. Then I met Max Brooks. This is Max Brooks. This was, for lack of a better version, me back in 2007.
“Why are you signing my book?”
“I have no idea,” I said. “I just want to use the bathroom.”
I can’t remember now if he laughed or if the person who worked there took the pen from me. But I left right after that and walked down to a Starbucks to meet Stu, which is finally what I found out to call him. Then came a discussion of the role of Jason Statham as the embodiment of modern male psyche in an actor that may or may not be self-aware.
I could give a shit about this film.
Somewhere, however, is a copy of World War Z signed by me. Cherish it.
